Hi everyone! Some people, when things get hard, shut down completely – get paralyzed, get depressed and stall out like a car out of gas. I see this a ton with people in marketing, but it hasn’t ever affected me like that – not in this area of life.
It has in others, though.
Becoming a Business Machine
With me, when business or finances are tough, it literally fuels me to wake up earlier, go to bed later, work as hard as I can, as smart as I can. It always has. I’ve worked my butt off on my own business from day 1.
When things are toughest is when I’m most driven and successful. I get very strategic with my time and push and push, almost oddly enjoying the discomfort because I know for a fact, it’s what gets my butt in gear.
There are a few of us (you’ll recognize yourself) who say we “work best under pressure.” When I know it has to be done and when finances are at stake, I work like a mad woman – cranking out 40 pages a day, etc.
Nothing can stop me – not sickness, not schedules, not anything. I will mow you over if you try to get in my way.
It’s when the pressure is OFF and things are going smooth that I often have zero (or close to it) urge to push myself. There’s no adrenaline rush like there is when I’m pushing on a deadline.
My favorite thing to do is what if myself about the worst case scenarios – what if I don’t make money and can’t pay a bill and can’t pay tuition and my kids get kicked out of school? In this case, I’m working to avoid the pain I don’t ever want to experience.
Using Discomfort to Fuel You
I’ve been studying David Goggins a lot lately. I watched his videos and started following him on social media. I got my book called Living with a Seal yesterday and and it’s such a good read (thanks Justin for recommending it to me).
His approach is to become a machine – almost inhuman – and use discomfort to fuel yourself and as I study his advice, I totally see it in business.
But when it comes to my weight battle – I’m struggling to find the key to make me ENJOY that discomfort and let it fuel me to success.
What I’m hoping is, I can somehow find out how to do it in weight so that I can share how to do it for those of you who lack the same drive in business.
Because with business, I get it. With weight, I sit here telling myself, “I’m going to allow myself to feel hunger again.” Yet before hunger even hits, I’m spooning food into my mouth to avoid that feeling.
With work, I know if discomfort hits, I plow through work with ease – driven and powered up. I know with business – seeing money coming in and having the pressure alleviated is a satisfactory feeling – like a high of sorts.
So why can’t I see that seeing the scale move down and feeling better physically would be just as satisfactory if I could just get through the yucky moments?
I’m trying. This is a weird puzzle to me. You and I can both stick our heads in the sand and try to avoid it but if we truly want to see success with our goals, we have to endure the annoying parts. The parts that don’t feel good.
The only thing I can tell you so far is I’m not quitting on myself. You can. But I’m not. I’m driven to find out how to do this. I’m becoming obsessed with unlocking the key to this and I’m starting to really enjoy the process of discovery. It’s almost sickening.
Yesterday, after being trapped in an elevator for 57 minutes at the gym, my son (and personal trainer), said, “Well you’ve been through a lot today so I wouldn’t blame you if you wanted to go on home.” I said no. I came to work out, and I was going to do it.
But damn if I didn’t wait until right before bed to eat when I wasn’t hungry – I’m a saboteur to myself. I worked so hard that day only to sneak up and sabotage my efforts.
How are you sabotaging yourself with mindset? How are you planning to stop?
For me, I’m hunting her. That person inside me who is ruining this for me. I have her in my crosshairs and I’m going to take her out. I almost see it as a war. It is a fight for my life – whether or not it’s life and death or simply being able to live a fulfilling life (one where mobility isn’t an issue, embarrassment isn’t an issue, etc.). This inner traitor is going down.
In business, I think a lot of people act as if they’re struggling because they don’t know what needs to be done. It’s the “be done” part that’s lacking. No one is actually completing any projects to even see if it’s doable.
Same with my weight. I know exactly how to lose it – it’s the action part I’ve been abandoning and it’s pissing me off. Are you pissed off at yourself for lack of follow through in business?
You should be.
Not everyone responds to this form of motivation or drive. I do. Anger at myself makes me change. Patting myself on the head when I make an excuse does nothing for me but make me weaker.
My goal right now is not to go to bed satisfied every night. I want to beat myself up a little, feel that discomfort, and let it fuel me to change. No “good enough” anymore.
That’s like a sickness to me. Gets me nowhere.
Focus on the Negatives
Some people like to focus on goals. I think it’s great to have goals and all, but it’s not what drives change for me. Change for me is driven by avoidance of things I don’t want.
I was happy today to read this article and how it talks about making lists of things you don’t want. Having that focus is an “in your face” reminder of why you’re doing the uncomfortable stuff.
I don’t want to keep my eyes to the floor when I enter a grocery store because I don’t like looking at people as an obese woman.
I don’t want to have to dread walking across the track field to reach the bleachers because of my weight making me so tired.
I don’t want to have to shop in fat lady clothing stores anymore.
I don’t want to lay there at night wondering when and if my weight will catch up to me with a serious health problem.
…and so on. I like that focus. It will help me light a fire to fight back against this stuff above.