I was reading something kind of eye opening and sad earlier today. As someone who works really hard, I am guilty of sometimes looking at others who aren’t working and thinking they’re lazy. I’m not talking about people with health issues – I’m talking about people who cheerfully interact with others online and we just assume they don’t want to put the effort in.
In the discussion I read people started talking about how sometimes, what we see as those not wanting to work are really those who are struggling. Not all mind you – there are plenty of mooches in this world, and I’m not about to pretend there’s not!
But…sometimes, what we see on the surface goes deeper than what we are imagining. We have to think of what motivates us. For me, it’s wanting to give my kids the world and wanting to be self sufficient. I was so happy when I wanted to get a divorce that I was the breadwinner and wouldn’t have to stay in a toxic marriage due to not being able to support myself. I heard from many people who weren’t that lucky, and they saw me going through it and ended up building their own business to escape, too.
I am pretty open with what I’m going through in life – the abuse I experienced, health issues, etc. But even I don’t say everything I’m stressed about. I can imagine most people are the same. And their struggles might be anything. They might have a drug addicted teen or adult child they’re trying to support through a tough time, or some sort of health issue that they don’t want to blog about.
They’re tired. Exhausted. If everything was working out, they’d put the energy in – both mental and physical.
Sometimes, our motivation trumps whatever we’re going through. It has for me in many cases. But sometimes, I just take a break because I don’t feel like handling both business and self care. For me, it’s more rare that I do this, but for many, it might be a paralyzing event.
I also think about how lucky I was to have a kind mentor to guide me in my early days. Not everyone has that so imagine all the courses they buy (and get burned by) while watching everyone else succeed around them. That has to sting. It is probably very defeating and exhausting.
And the way everything is worded, they make it sound like it’s push button and easy and you’d start to feel pretty dumb if you couldn’t make it work, too – so you’d quietly sit on the sidelines. Then they start seeing the resentment and anger being launched at the sellers of these courses and they get bitter, too. They start blaming them and get in a routine where it’s not their fault – it’s someone else’s (this is a protective measure because taking blame is an awful feeling).
They might see the “laid back lifestyle” others are enjoying – the 4 hour work weeks, so they do that, thinking that’s all it should take (when that’s not true).
Accepting responsibility for your failures is a hard pill to swallow. I hate doing it. I consider it an enema rather than a pill. LOL! Very annoying and uncomfortable. I have to take fault for my lack of fiction progress, my weight gain, etc.
Sometimes I’m tired of learning. I’m tired of thinking. With my fiction, I can’t even figure out what genre I want. I’m 9 days into 2023 and stuck. I’m not unmotivated. I have to know the difference.
If you find things are not motivating you, you might need to change gears, eliminate business models, change niches, etc. If you are truly exhausted, pinpoint it and find a solution. Half days? A night off from work? A better routine?
Don’t just stay paralyzed faltering by yourself. It’s not necessary. Take care of yourself and discover your motivation while keeping your energy up.
I’m here for you if you need to email me and chat about what’s going on so you can get back on track.
Tiff
